I sat outside today at chapel in one of the lounges. It was
Veteran’s Day chapel. I’m not usually partial to patriotically
themed chapels, so figured it was best to not get myself worked up.
This is what I wrote. It’s not supposed to be stunningly accurate. It’s just how I feel.
At first I want to say its not that I have any bad feelings towards
America. But that’s a lie. I don’t even care if the
founding fathers biblically based or deist or serial rapists.
Where I’ve grown up, culture has isolated me from those around
me. Is it low to blame isolation on culture? What if the
culture teaches only the cool people get to have visible
relationships? And the only visible relationships are
shallow? I was taught success and independence and what was
apparently what the world, or at least America, wanted of me was for me
to keep my nose clean and to get good grades. Good grades
equalled success earlier and life, and not much attention was paid to
how success was achieved. Being smart wasn’t thoroughly doing
consistent, excellent work…it was knowing what the teacher wanted to
hear, and being able to talk your way from a much deserved C- to a
shiny A. Being a good kid was often enough as well.
Money. Do I even need to start on it? For some reason I
need a hole lot of it, even if I never do anything. In other
countries they live in poverty. They say people are
starving. But some people do survive. And without money
like we have here. I’m not saying life is easy, or anything is
right or wrong….but I’m fairly confident what I’ve ben taught is
wrong. Vietnam, Bay of Pigs….can America’s foreign policy
really be trusted? Where are the weapons of mass destruction in
Iraq? Yes, I know from a certain point of view those are
irrelevant, but the point of view of the government was that they were
there, and we were going to get rid of them. Big question
mark. Inconsistent war on terror. We go after those who go
after us, but thats not all. We also go after those we don’t ,
but where are the troops stopping the sex trade? We applaud the
veterans, but what are we applauding? The music filters through,
and it’s beautiful, but does the other side remain the enemy? Do
they do the same thing in honor of their veterans? If they do,
does that upset us? Honor going to those who slaughtered our men
and boys, and women in this enlightened age? And its slaughter
when its our soldiers. Luckily, we only kill their men. And
if our enemies get upset over our rejoicing, so what? We were
fighting for what was right, anyway. We view war, at best, as a
necessary evil, going to war only when necessary. But when its
over, we sing God Bless America, and go into debt rebuilding the
company we squashed. But I didn’t mean company, I meant
country, right. So we sing and the music sounds beautiful.
But the girls being raped in Africa scream that there were no weapons
of mass destruction. The songs continue to be sung. over
and over. In affirmation of America. America in deep bass,
higher and higher until on the dogs can hear the wonder of America
being preached. Isn’t that who doesn’t want to hear it? And
then it switches to Amazing Grace. Is that valid? The line
has been drawn. Can we support it? Grace will lead
home? Our soldiers? Theirs? Or is home heaven?
And we think of our noble soldiers, going to a better place.
Often our enemies go to an even better place, and they have lots of
virgins. Does that mean we’re on the wrong side? Or we’re
fighting for grace and justice? Glory, glory hallelujah.
Why would you even sing that in war?