The people who are “best” at being politicians right now are politicians.

I submit the best of the bunch is Newt. I mean, look at this guy.  He’s got it all.  A real Doctor Evil.  And Doctor Evil was fantastic at being Doctor Evil, just like Newt is a fantastic politician.  It’s what this country is now based in. Politicians are pretty annoying, though.  They lie a lot, they do things to serve themselves instead of their constituents, and take long vacations.  Maybe I’m just jealous.

I think Newt is a brilliant man, and think he’s the worst thing that could happen to the american public, and the best thing that can happen to american politics.  He consistently looks out for his own good.  He received money from Freddie Mac for consulting fees shortly before the collapse.  He served his wife divorce papers while she was in the hospital, and has ended up marrying the woman he was affairing with.  Is that a verb?  At least they made an honest man out of him, amirite?

Anyway, it’s pretty easy to google for yourself the ethical quandaries this man has found himself in.  He’s done a fantastic job promoting the agenda of Newt, and has performed poorly for everyone else.

I suppose I haven’t blogged in great detail about any other candidates.  They’re mostly rather silly.  But this guy really gets to me as everything wrong with the system.  Should I feel the same about Romney?  Maybe, but even though he can be toolish, who wouldn’t like the Mormons?  And his wealth was made through exploitation through business, not through exploiting the taxpayers.  Both are bad, but career politicians are more-bad.

I’m not terribly worried about Newt winning, because, as graphs show us:


Green is Newt, who is currently top dawg.  As was Cain (red), and Perry (blue).  Also, please note Bachmann’s (black) 15 minutes of fame, and recall how in July, Bachmann and Perry were the shit.  They go up, they go down.  I don’t know how to properly correlate this data to media coverage, but I’m sure there is some evil to be found there.

At least Romney has been consistent, and I do believe he has some moral compass.  I don’t like the moral compass, but I think it’s there.  I don’t believe Newt has one, as much as I would like a president named Newt.  Newt.

Also, since I don’t believe in media blackouts, orange is Ron Paul.  I like him.  He’s very consistent.  Even though I’m moving away from agreeing with The Free Market, I think  a does of Paulian anti-government would be the proper way to get the pendulum swinging.