now rated arrrrrr

10 Reasons Gay Marriage is Wrong

1) Being gay is not natural. Real Americans always reject unnatural
things like eyeglasses, polyester, and air conditioning. Also
apparently those homosexual animals have picked up some unnatural

2) Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people will make you tall.

3) Gay marriage will change the foundation of society; we could
never adapt to new social norms. Just like we haven’t adapted to cars,
the service-sector economy, or longer life spans.

4) Straight marriage has been around a long time and hasn’t changed
at all; women are still property, blacks still can’t marry whites, and
divorce is still illegal.

5) Straight marriage will be less meaningful if gay marriage were
allowed; the sanctity of Brittany Spears’ 55-hour just-for-fun marriage would be destroyed.

6) Straight marriages are valid because they produce children. Gay
couples, infertile couples, and old people shouldn’t be allowed to
marry because our orphanages aren’t full yet, and the world needs more

7) Obviously gay parents will raise gay children, since straight parents only raise straight children.

8) Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like
ours, the values of one religion are imposed on the entire country.
That’s why we have only one religion in America.

9) Children can never succeed without a male and a female role model
at home. That’s why we as a society expressly forbid single parents to
raise children.

10) Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy
behavior. People may even wish to marry their pets because a dog has
legal standing and can sign a marriage contract.

/action ducks

stolen from here




  1. Anonymous

    Ha, that I thought you wrote it.  I loved you for a second.  Oh gosh, I so agree.

  2. Anonymous

    Not saying I don’t still love you, and I’m not thanking God every day that I’m dating you.

  3. oh brother jaimie. haha, i liked the sarcasm in it, but i’m not sure i like how it seems to be overall promoting gay marriage… however, it does have a nice bite to it.

  4. HA! 🙂 I love it!

  5. my main reason for not opposing gay marriage is #8. we don’t live in a theocracy where we outlaw anything that goes against a certain religion. i firmly believe in the right to idol worship in america, even though it’s explicitly marked as sin in the bible far more times than homosexuality.

  6. This seems, to me, to be setting up the Jews to reject anything that is claiming to be, or pointed at as “god” of some sort that is not directly the great I AM

    ….but didnt Christ say directly that he was the I AM? Youre right, if he didnt, there could be some confusion for the Jews, but he did…. probably to make it abundantly clear to the ones with open minds. Thats actually why they wanted to kill him, because of that claim to be more than a ‘god’, but the God.

  7. Sorry I should have put your quote in quotation marks.

    By the way, I completely agree about the gay marriage thing.

  8. Granted, its also hard for me to remember anything my friends say. Yet if one of them said something extremely odd and shocking, like “Before Abraham was, I AM,” I think I’d take it home with me. Especially if I was a Jew in a Jewish society where God’s holy name was not even suffered to be spoken (am I wrong?).

    Secondly, if you doubt the accuracy of New Testament dialogue, why do you rely on Christ’s words in the garden (not my will but thine)? Maybe the writers got those words wrong. Maybe they also got the words “I and my Father are one” wrong too, because those are also New Testament dialogue, words attributed to Christ.

    And I dont think you personally can object to the idea of two distinct entities being one and equal at the same time… because you aren’t afraid of saying that “great are the depths of what we cannot understand”, which is absolutely true. 

  9. Anonymous

    That’s awesome.  It made me chuckle right out loud!!  😉  Anyway, Laura and Jaimie (I’m hoping) and some others are coming over for pizza on Friday at 1pm.  Would you be interested in coming if you can??


  10. Anonymous

    I’m afraid that’s the only time Laura has free.  Maybe some other time then…


  11. someone needs to update. i’m not naming any names, cuz i wouldn’t wanna embarass u.

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