I’ve decided to completely redo my xanga in a style more fitting for a
suave intellectual attractive male.  In light of such, I’ve done
some quick research and compiled some incredible results.  I’ve
formed them into a few reference charts; I’m sure you’ll have no
trouble at all following them, oh intelligent reader.

As you can see, the total population of the world is quite high, nearly
six and a half billion.  That is narrowed down to less than half,
3,083,000,000, which is the total population of women in the
world.  Now, in an attempt to remain relevant to my point, I’m
going to further narrow it down, to women between the ages of 15 and
49, which I believe is more than generous for this exercise.  The
number becomes a meager 1,594,000,000.  This next chart refers
only to that last insignificant number, and reveals a stunning
statistic

I know it’s hard to believe; but believe it.

Just for reference, here are a few people, comprising about
.000000000623% of the worlds total population, who are not dating me,
contrary to some rumormongering.

Natalie Portman      Marilyn Monroe  
    Lacey Chabert    Tom Cruise